Saturday, 18 August 2012

It's the Little Things

It's the little things
Wearing a particular dress
top or necklace
An annual tv show starting
a new season
It's a photo, song, or cup of tea
A new flatmate moving in
It's a film, a bath, a holiday destination
Learning new skills
Growing, adapting
It's the little things that make me miss you the most

Every little moment
takes me further away
from you
Little reminders take me back
one year to a time when you were here
Each high is followed by a low
so deep it hurts me physically
So many times I tried to find a word
to express how much you meaned to me
'Love' was too simple
A word I'd used for friends and family
Only 5 small letters that just did not do the trick
So deep were my feelings for you
that the word 'love' just would not do
So I said it over and over and over again
In hopes that you knew just HOW much I loved you.

Now I am searching for words
to replace missing, longing, yearning, aching
So desperate am I for you
That I can not simply say
I miss you
Too small a word, too simple a phrase
It's in the quiet moments, the tiny silences
in my mind
It's in the highs and the lows
That nothing feels quite right without you

I carry on
I live a life for both of us
I seem ok
most of the time
but when I stop
and think
When I remember that
it takes my breath away

Some may think me mad
some may call me crazy
that I keep your shoes in a box
I know you don't need them anymore
but just in case
just in case I wake up one day
and this was all a terrible nightmare
There they'll be.
Ready to slip on
so that you and I can walk
side by side once again.