Yesterday was our first wedding anniversary.
But you weren't here.
22 July 2011
You stayed at your best mate's house so that we wouldn't see eachother before the big day. You let me and my maid of honour have the flat. I picked her up from the bus station the night before and we sat with a glass of wine, excitedly discussing the future. You were out with your mates, getting far too drunk. You texted me to tell me the guys were singing that song to you. It made me smile. I was nervous. You calmed me down.
The next morning my MoH made me breakfast and we set out for last minute supplies and had our makeup done in town. We rushed back and hurriedly pinned my hair up, dress zipped up, shoes on and out the door, late. Two minutes away from the flat, I realised I'd forgotten the rings.
I called you in a panic 'we're running so late! and I've got to go back for the rings! Can anyone pick us up in a car??'
As usual, you calmly said it would take longer to drive, and I could tell you were smiling. You always found it funny when I got stressed out over the little things. You said you'd tell the registrar and they would wait for us. 'It will be fine.'
'It wouldn't be a wedding if the bride wasn't running late' others joked.
As I arrived you shielded your eyes, so that you wouldn't see me beforehand. I posed for photos with your family and waited nervously outside the room at the registry office. As I walked in that room, a smile spread across my face that didn't leave all day. I was so happy to be there, stood across from you, moments from becoming your wife. As the registrar read the reading you'd selected, my heart beamed with pride. There was no doubt in my mind that I would be there through good times and bad. I knew I'd love you for as long as I shall live. I didn't think for a moment that death would part us so soon.
As I watch the video back, it's like I'm watching a dream. Was it real? Did I actually get to marry my best friend, my soulmate? I kept my name that day, worried it would effect my career as an actress if I changed it. You said it was ok, but regularly made comments about how it would 'show the world we're together'. So as my parting gift to you, I changed my name. I am proud to be your Mrs. I am proud I was there through good times and bad with you, until the very end. I wish I could remember our special day more vividly, but for me, it will always feel like a dream. A perfect dream.
You've left a hole in my heart no one will ever fill, you took a piece of me when you went. But that's ok. Because I know, in some small way, we will always be together, in spirit.
2 months of excitement for the future
1 month of desperation
9 months of heartache
a life time of love
But you weren't here.
22 July 2011
You stayed at your best mate's house so that we wouldn't see eachother before the big day. You let me and my maid of honour have the flat. I picked her up from the bus station the night before and we sat with a glass of wine, excitedly discussing the future. You were out with your mates, getting far too drunk. You texted me to tell me the guys were singing that song to you. It made me smile. I was nervous. You calmed me down.
The next morning my MoH made me breakfast and we set out for last minute supplies and had our makeup done in town. We rushed back and hurriedly pinned my hair up, dress zipped up, shoes on and out the door, late. Two minutes away from the flat, I realised I'd forgotten the rings.
I called you in a panic 'we're running so late! and I've got to go back for the rings! Can anyone pick us up in a car??'
As usual, you calmly said it would take longer to drive, and I could tell you were smiling. You always found it funny when I got stressed out over the little things. You said you'd tell the registrar and they would wait for us. 'It will be fine.'
'It wouldn't be a wedding if the bride wasn't running late' others joked.
As I arrived you shielded your eyes, so that you wouldn't see me beforehand. I posed for photos with your family and waited nervously outside the room at the registry office. As I walked in that room, a smile spread across my face that didn't leave all day. I was so happy to be there, stood across from you, moments from becoming your wife. As the registrar read the reading you'd selected, my heart beamed with pride. There was no doubt in my mind that I would be there through good times and bad. I knew I'd love you for as long as I shall live. I didn't think for a moment that death would part us so soon.
As I watch the video back, it's like I'm watching a dream. Was it real? Did I actually get to marry my best friend, my soulmate? I kept my name that day, worried it would effect my career as an actress if I changed it. You said it was ok, but regularly made comments about how it would 'show the world we're together'. So as my parting gift to you, I changed my name. I am proud to be your Mrs. I am proud I was there through good times and bad with you, until the very end. I wish I could remember our special day more vividly, but for me, it will always feel like a dream. A perfect dream.
You've left a hole in my heart no one will ever fill, you took a piece of me when you went. But that's ok. Because I know, in some small way, we will always be together, in spirit.
2 months of excitement for the future
1 month of desperation
9 months of heartache
a life time of love
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