21st of October

21st of October

What can I do to stop that day from dawning?

How do I stop the clock from running?

365 days without you

52 weeks alone

That one year mark is so near

So how I stop the world from turning?

If I don't flip the page of the calendar

can we skip from September to November?

Gloss over that autumnal month

Ignore Halloween and the changing of the seasons

If I hide my diary away

will I forget?

If I ignore the day 

and wish it away

sleep through it

and never utter a word about it

Will that day never come?

Year two 

I'm not ready for you

One year has gone by so fast

and yet, it's been a lifetime

since I heard your voice

saw you smile

or held your hand

One year of grieving so hard

of working through the never-ending

dark, dark days of winter

Through the frost that seemed to last 10 months

and then, suddenly

I can feel the spring coming

New life is on it's way

Hope is blossoming

But oh how I fear 

That Day

Will the pull of the anniversary

drag me down?

Down to the depths 

of the deep dark pit

of the early days?

Will winter begin again

without the warmth of summer?

Will I have to start over?

They say

year two is harder still

Oh year two

I'm not ready for you

So somebody stop time 

push pause on this thing called life

hold the world still on this week or next

Because 366 days without you is too many

I survived this year

Was that the test?

Can you come back now

I've passed?